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[myblacksorrow]

@meteoric

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{You've reached Ivan. Please leave a message and I will get to back to you at my earliest convenience.}

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text, un: till

[xylophone]

[ If he does this, he knows there is no going back. The moment he types out his questions and hits send, it will open up an avenue of communication between them that he will be unable to shut, because no matter what he does or says, Ivan will do as he pleases. Although considering how easily he was able to understand the watch's functions, and he wasn't his class's outstanding student, Ivan would probably figure it out himself just as quickly (if not faster), and hadn't exactly picked some obscure reference to make his username. It was just fucking name.

Unlike Ivan! What the fuck it took him almost the whole day to figure out what was Ivan's username. He even sent a message to the wrong person once! Fuck! He wanted to bury himself from embarrassment. But what no one knows won't hurt him!

Right. On to sending his message. ]

Did they give you a room?

[myblacksorrow]

I didn't think you would be trying to solicit your way into my room so soon.

I'll tell you where it is if your intent is getting another kiss.

[ It took him a bit of time to remember the word Till told him for pressing lips. He was well aware that Till would not be interested in that whatsoever, but he amused himself with posing the impossible happenstance. ]

[xylophone]

[ How did his question ellicit that response!? If he could rip the watch off his wrist and throw it against the wall, he would have! Instead, he gets to see the next message pop up, which further sours his expression. Why that? He shouldn't have told Ivan anything! ]

I don't want to go in your stinking room! And I don't want to do kissing with you! We already did it! Then you. Touching lips is normally for lovers! And for love and affection.

[xylophone]

Where is your room?

[myblacksorrow]

You contradicted every statement you said.

[ There were so many options for what he could pick at first. Does he ask if that makes them lovers? Does he point out that Till didn't deny him just the act? There was also the obvious option of pointing out the denial of wanting to go to his room, but still asking.

Actually, there was a more pressing matter. ]

What is a lover and what do they do?

action

[xylophone]

( from here )

[ While distracting, the messages alone were not the single cause for his delay. Yes, Till got lost a couple of times trying to figure out the ship's layout in his search for Ivan's cabin. It's not until he stands in front of Ivan's door that he considers the possibility that the watch may have come equipped with a map of the boat. While tempting to check if that is true, he doesn't want to end up feeling any more foolish than before. Instead, he sends Ivan one last message and waits for him to open the door. ]

[myblacksorrow]

[ The door opens after the message is received, Ivan leaning against the wall next to the door. With the door open, he steps away, going back to sitting on the bed. Till can close it and do as he wished.

Now that he didn't have to annoy him over text, Ivan was back to being quiet, looking at Till now that he was there. It happened so naturally that he didn't really stop to think about this until that moment.

They sought each other out. Till wanted to find him and be close by. It hadn't been very long, but it had already fallen into routine. Yet, Ivan doubted that Till even noticed how different things were between them.

Ignoring all of that, Ivan lifts his hand to hold out the card that was left to him. Should Till want to see what Ivan's says, this was his chance. ]

[xylophone]

[ When the door opens, what welcomes Till is Ivan with a silent greeting in the form of a practiced amicable expression. That's not what he seeks to see on Ivan's face, but perhaps it's impossible to replicate the expression worn on stage in those final moments they shared. Till, who witnessed that face, still had not found a way to recreate that image.

Closing the door once he enters the cabin, he walks toward the bed, and before he even considers sitting beside Ivan, the card is extended out to him. He takes the card, and soon Till is scrutinizing each square, noting the tasks to be completed. This card is different from his own. Much like his own list of tasks, he is having trouble understanding what Ivan is required to do. However, what is clear is that they are still even; neither of them has completed any squares.

Of course, what Till doesn't realize is that, despite Ivan's good looks, there's no getting far on the first day.

Digging into his pockets, he produces his card to hand over to Ivan, it's a bit crumpled up from poor treatment and neglect. Yes, in those few hours aboard the boat, he had already decided to put it away until it was deemed necessary to examine it. Before Ivan can comment on the card's state, he speaks up. ]

You can also look at it here. [ He taps the watch on his wrist. ]

I don't know how you're going to get any of this done.

[ Ivan was popular in Anakt Garden. He could be popular here. It doesn't mean he knows how to complete some of the things listed. ]

[myblacksorrow]

[ It's taking him a bit of reading, but he could sort of tell what half of Tills list was. Some of the items caught his attention. As he tried to pull the card out at its corners to read what Till's card said in the creases. ]

I can read mine there, but not yours.

[ Ivan held the card in his lap, looking up at Till instead curiously. He couldn't say the word in the last box, but he recognized what it meant. The images floating around Ivan's head of Till trying to complete some of these was making him far more aware of the fact they were alone in this room. ]

I don't know how I'm going to do most of these, either. They really threw a challenge at us so soon.

[ He knew they would have to, but this was like being thrown in the deep end on your first practice swim. ]

Are you going to kiss someone?

action

[xylophone]

[ Despite the resort's drastic and sudden changes, it feels as if they are settling into a monotonous pattern reflecting their time at Anakt Garden. Arguments follow conversations, while some subjects remain unresolved due to Till's reluctance to address the topics that Ivan wants to voice most—his unwillingness to speak forces Ivan's choice. It's not always true, but when there's silence, Till feels most confident that they will enjoy each other's company. They don't need to talk.

That's why Till thinks that loudmouthed guy is wrong. He has to forget it; it cannot be important. Even if it festers, morphing into something hideous, it's only fitting. For him, it's only right. Troublesome, useless, with endless things to learn. It's surprising if Hiyori hasn't grown annoyed with his almost endless inquiries.

There must be resentment in befriending him.

That thought prompts him to turn his head and face Ivan. Whether asleep or not, Till allows himself to evade suspicion that Ivan is feigning sleep. He guides his thoughts away, to the same downward spiral he has set course on for the night. Recalling the effort it takes, how much he has to push himself forward, practically forcing it. Ivan may be right. No, he is right. No amount of frowning will change that, nor does its reality alleviate the sting of rejection. His first offer of aid was dismissed due to rightfully perceived incapability.

He is the same. Doubtful and stupid. Here at the resort, his only talent is all but useless.

As always, sleep continues to evade him, and self-deprecation makes it a challenge to lose himself in art. It's all but impossible to draw away his troubles. With his gaze toward Ivan's form, mistakes are bound to form on the page. For that, he can only give himself a mental lashing over his declining skill. If this is deteriorating, then what of his only talent?

The curse that he has been dragging along for months is also something to ignore. Something he does not voice that only claws at his insecurities, opening wounds in a way that only makes him feel much more detestable. There is no one to confide in. This terrible affliction is for him to bear alone. That's why when the sudden change comes, he can only curse himself. It's unpredictable, yes, and he has taken a gamble when spending most nights in the room next door to his own. If he could rip it all off, get rid of it, then so what if he bled? However, that's not a feasible solution; he's aware.

Instead, for now, he sets the drawing pad down and, despite only being dressed in one of Ivan's shirts, he plans to cross over to his room and hide away until it's gone. Until he is normal. That plan deviates when Ivan stirs, and he immediately covers his eyes with his hand. ] Go back to sleep.

[myblacksorrow]

[ Ivan had not been entirely asleep, but he wasn't fully awake either. The last few weeks had been one thing after another. Revelations had been had by them both, for better or for worse. What he had paid special attention to was Till. He had worried about Till's ability to interact with this place in the way it wanted, but apparently that worry was misplaced. Till was always the most impressive of them all. He shouldn't have doubted.

Now he had the knowledge that Till truly could leave him behind if it behooved him. He could only find solace in the warmth of his body next to him when they slept. He didn't expect it to become like this, but he wasn't arrogant enough to think Till wanted him. They had become comfortable and in that lull, he had to remind himself often the truth of their situation.

His eyes hadn't opened yet, but Tills hands came over his eyes, and Ivan continued to lay there. The bed sheet was pulled down, showing off Ivan's bare chest and the little peek of his tattoo on his side. His mind was unfortunately more awake then he'd like it to be, and could only spiral in the bid for him to go back to sleep.

Was Till leaving? Did he have someone else to see tonight? Till did have friends and people he talked to. It wasn't strange to think he might want then more than someone like him. As Ivan contemplated following Till's direction, his hands balled up into fists and then loosened just as quickly. Instead they lifted, resting his palms against Till's wrists.]

Will you tell me why?

[ In the end, that was all he wanted to know. If Till was leaving him, all he wanted to know was the reason. ]

[xylophone]

Don't worry about it.

[ The phrase he picked up makes him comically predictable in his avoidance. That alone marks his unwillingness to provide a reason behind his request. It's not something Ivan needs to know; this is the most irrelevant thing he can share. It's a secret he would take to the grave: the hideous, inhuman form that plagues him. Useless, as he is, if Ivan saw him now, then he would truly become a loser. There is no doubt about it. He can only expect complete rejection where there is current resentment. No one can see the abhorrent thing he becomes, and that's why he continues to obscure Ivan's sight with his hand, not willing to take the risk of pulling away to run and hide.

Frustration, fear, all cause his tail to switch back and forth with dissatisfaction. Furry ears on his head fold back as his anxiety spikes. He is stuck here. That's the only conclusion he can come to. He is stuck, sitting on Ivan's bed, keeping his vision blocked from the reality of this hideous shape.

His cast down gaze, eyes fixed observing Ivan, and all effort is meant to make him fall asleep. He wants to repeat the exact words he spoke earlier, but instead, he is distracted by the mark the resort brands all its guests with. He isn't going anywhere; he can't. Ivan's hands on his wrist tempt him to reconsider, but what explanation can he give? He isn't going to tell him the truth. ]

It's late.

You've been looking exhausted lately. [ Leaning in close, aware that he must stay, he makes himself comfortable next to Ivan. However, he won't remove his hand. They will remain like this until either Ivan falls asleep or he returns to his usual self. Glad that there is no fight back, that he doesn't have to resort to other physical means, he tries to steer the conversation in another direction. It's clumsy, of course, it's Till. ]

You have a mark too.

text, un: till

[xylophone]

are you in your room?
i still have your shirt.

[myblacksorrow]

I’m in my room
Okay

[xylophone]

i'm trying to give it back to you.

text ; un: wildflower

[loosestrifes]

( It's 4am, and a message appears? Clearly not with any urgency, given the contents, but it'll still light up his Watch. )

Are you awake?

[myblacksorrow]

[ He's surprised when there's suddenly a message going off in the dead of night. There was less surprise when he saw from whom, but was also perplexed why Esi was even awake. ]

Yes.
Are you always up this late?

[loosestrifes]

( He's honestly surprised to get a reply! Hypocrite that he is. )

I should be asking you the same. I thought you might be someone with a strict sleep and wake schedule, though I suppose there was always a chance you were someone with a teeeeerrible one, too.

Anyway, as for me, not always, but I often struggle with falling and staying asleep. At this point, I've given up for the night, you know?

So I wanted to chat.

( And chatty he is. )

text; un: cyclops

[laserguy]

[sometime after this.]

so ready to experience culture finally?

pizza. in case you forgot.

[myblacksorrow]

I haven't forgotten. I've kept my appetite up just for this.

Shall I meet you down in the food court?

[laserguy]

wow i'm honored, keeping yourself hungry just in case i decided to ask you for pizza.

yeah that'll work. you know what i look like, right? just look for the red sunglasses.

text ; un: wildflower

[loosestrifes]

( At the start of all the dungeon nonsense last month, Esikko had vanished in the middle of the night to reappear in his shitty dungeon-transformed room. Since then, though, he's been regularly returning to Ivan's room to enjoy the roommate life, probably filled with plenty of complaints about the traps and shenanigans...

Now, though, he just sends a picture of the snowy market that has taken over the first floor. It's a lot of focus on the scenery, but the booth in front of Esikko displays swords and daggers, alongside... strangely slutty armor. )

Did you know they're selling weapons? It's a rare chance to arm yourself~

[myblacksorrow]

I don't think I've ever handled a weapon before.

Is there one you'd suggest for me?

[ He's seen the snowy market when he's gone down to go about his usual schedule, but he hasn't considered actually owning something from it. Maybe he really hasn't gotten used to the idea of 'doing things normal humans do'. ]

[loosestrifes]

( Maybe, also, Esikko isn't the best role model for a normal human. )

Really? Never? I suppose since you were a pet, that would make sense. I was never permitted to hold one, but I don't enjoy boring rules.

I think anything would suit you, since you can mold yourself into roles so well. But, if I had to choose...

Something like a dagger. Sharp, discreet, and timeless. ♪

christmas delivery (I am just late)

[loosestrifes]

( Esikko had been gone Christmas Eve on a full day and night excursion of some sort, so he arrives back in the early morning, sneaking in and probably smelling of alcohol. But he quietly leaves something at the foot of Ivan's bed for him to find when he wakes up, even if he wakes to Esikko fast asleep beside him and a little more disheveled than usual thanks to drinking.

It's a bright red box with a huge bow on it, and a card attached. Inside, Ivan will find a number of things: a silky black bath robe with gold trim, a couple of nice pieces of clothing like this fancy jeogori, and a bracelet made of glass beads tucked in a fancy box. It's various shades of blue, except for the one flower charm tucked between all the beads, the red and softly shaped petals meant to be that of an anemone flower. Stark against the rest.

The card reads: )

I've learned about this holiday called "Christmas"... a little. Really, I don't care much for whatever the true meaning behind it is. Instead, I enjoy what it seems to have become for everyone. A time to show the people you care about that you do care, with little gestures and gifts. Cute, right?

This bracelet is special. I used magic to make each of the beads, and that flower, and so I wove it with a spell that lets our heartbeats link. That is to say, you'll be able to hear and feel mine, if you focus. It might even let you find me, if you get good at it! I thought, of all people, you'd find all of this the least "weird" and maybe even find what I meant with it. Hehe.

Merry Christmas, Ivan.

Yi Seul.

( Indeed, if he puts the bracelet on, he'll feel a cool sort of presence of Esikko's heart, a faint thrumming that needs to be focused on. Uneven, inconsistent, just like Esi's poor heart. And if he's able to focus even beyond that, he can find that the sensation "points" him to Esikko... even if it's a little less obvious up close like this. A vague sense, like the same one of someone watching you. Is it... sweet? He wants it to be sweet; a connection. )